As Humph loiters in Toulouse amending his farmer's tan, and I prepare for the arduous Piste 2 Plage race in the Alps for Help for Heroes, attention has been focused on the make up on the Blazing Pedals team for the Final Stage: Nice to Gibraltar, starting on 18th September.
After 4 weeks of continuous cycling, (ok, and a handful of days recuperating and sampling the many delights of France and selected delights of Switzerland), the team has been decided after hours of lengthy, unnecessary and wine-induced selection headaches.
Firstly, the Tour Committee is delighted to announce that after a very strong Stage 1 where he impressed in almost every area (and despite unsanctioned pre-tour beard growth that is still the subject of an ongoing external disciplinary investigation) Cheeks/Humph or 'Le Grand Barb' passed selection with flying colours.
Tour Director of Communications commented, "his culinary expertise with French sausages, outstanding beard growth and wonderfully effective verbal onslaughts towards Swiss waiters, guaranteed Cheeks' place on the Final Stage. We are excited by the variations he will conjure up with all that chorizo on offer, and are looking forward to more incredulous put-downs should any Spanish waiter dare to deliver a luke warm coffee."
Secondly, after months of riding the dykes of Brighton, Jason Ricks has gone above and beyond the qualifying requirements for the Tour. He will be joining the Blazing Pedals team in Nice for a week to ten days depending on work commitments and how well his backside holds up after 600k on a new road bike.
"A bit of an unknown quantity in the culinary department and doesn't know a tyre lever from a brake lever, but we are sure that his rider's physique and natural fitness as well as his insistence on bringing 17 t shirts, will make him an invaluable team member," said Tour Director of Communications.
A full profile on Jason will be issued in due course. Right now, siesta time and there is a hammock with my name on it.
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